The Case for Chinese Food

I finally figured it out. I can't believe it took me so long, but I finally know how the Chinese people have managed to surpass the United States as the the world's economic leader in such a short amount of time. After all, when I was a kid most Chinese people road bicycles everywhere. Now they roll in actual cars and even a few Ferraris have made it to their streets. We had to wage world war to claim our spot, but China just slipped in there and almost nobody noticed. One day, when nobody was looking, China scrapped the bikes and started rockin' sports cars. Who knew?

So how did they do it? Simple. It's their food.

I ordered some China food last night because I was far too lazy to get up and cook a meal plus I had a bad craving for the some egg rolls. It was easy, convenient, and loaded with MSG. My kind of dining. Of course, the China food comes at a high price, both literally and figuratively. You spend a ton of money to get it, and the effects only last an hour or so and then you are right back on the phone ordering a pizza so that you can get to sleep without hunger pangs keeping you awake. Right? Right.

You see, that is the secret. For a nation as poor and primitive as China to rise to the top so quickly took an incredible amount of work. Even for a nation of more than a billion people that is a lot of work. They remodeled cities, built factories, revamped their infrastructure and even managed to build the biggest dam in the world. That kinda work takes a lot of man-power; probably more than two or three China's worth. Yet they got it done and it was all possible because of the China food.

Here's how it works. The workers eat the China food to get energy and then they start working. An hour later the China food has worn off, but they still have to work because the China food is expensive and they need to earn more money to buy more food because the food they just ate is all used up. This creates a perpetual cycle of working to eat so they can eat to work, so they can work to eat. Once in this cycle you can keep a guy working at least 20 hours a day before he has to take a nap or simply goes nutty. Either way you are getting at least three times the amount of work out of one person, plus they stay skinny so you reduce health care costs. It's a total win situation for the communist bastards that run China.

America needs to eat more Chinese food.